Book Description

About the Author Michele O'Mara, LCSW ~ Voted Indianapolis' Best Gay Couple's Therapist, is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist practicing in Indianapolis, Indiana. Michele is a passionate and effective relationship educator, coach, and therapist. She provides couples therapy, educational couple's weekends, and she offers several helpful relationship resource at! Read more Excerpt. ? Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. An ODE to Curiosity When was the last time you were really curious about someone? Curiosity is an essential component of romance. Think about some of your most romantic moments and how you spent them. Chances are you were intimately engaged with your partner either emotionally, spiritually, physically or even intellectually. You were likely pursuing a connection that was driven by curiosity mixed with desire. Perhaps you had a longing to curiously explore your loved one?s body. Or maybe you took a drive through the neighborhood your partner grew up in. Or you went to her favorite restaurant and tasted all of her favorite foods. Or maybe you sat in the car holding his hand while his, and possibly now your, favorite song finishes. Or was it that you surprised her at work with flowers - the exact flowers you knew she would love because your curiosity drove you to uncover this information. Romance involves longing, craving, wanting, and desire. Romance is driven by our pursuit to have the object of our desire. Romance is the carriage that is pulled by pure want. It is a means by which we satisfy our senses, our longings, and our desires. During our initial courtship and dating, we are insatiably curious about our newly found beloved. We have to know more. ?What do you do?? ?What kind of music do you like?? ?Where are you from?? ?How long have you been here?? ?What?s your sign?? Eventually these sweet and innocent questions begin to intensify, changing into questions like, ?Do you know how beautiful you are?? and ?Where have you been all of my life?? Or ?Can I kiss you?? Ultimately leading to questions like, ?How do you feel about monogamy?? Before we know it, we are asking questions like ?Do you want kids?? and ?Will you move in with me?? And ?Will you be my lifetime companion, my partner, my lover, my spouse, my mate?? And so it is. Until, of course, one day, without any apparent warning or reason, our questions morphed into assumptions and statements that sound like ?Why are you always late?? Or ?Am I ever going to be a priority?? And ?How can I trust you when you don?t do what you say you?re going to?? Abracadabra! Poof. Curiosity is gone. Like the milk in your refrigerator, your curiosity has turned to cottage cheese. Expired. Replaced by the bitter, toxic remains of what was once so good and healthy. About Love Relationships (Past, Present & Future) 1) What are five adjectives you would use to describe your partner? Of those, which are you most proud? 2) What are the first three things that come to mind when you consider what a ?perfect? relationship looks like to you? 3) What about yourself do you find most attractive? 4) Describe your first impression of your partner. 5) A good partner will always ___________________________ and never ___________________. 6) What do you least like about your partner?s family? 7) If you could insure one constant characteristic in your partner, which of the following would you choose? Funny. Smart. Honest. 8) How do you know when a relationship is in trouble? If this happens, how would you respond? 9) What?s more important to a relationship - honesty or kindness? 10) Are you comfortable/willing to go to bed mad at your partner? If you are willing to go to bed mad, are you likely to do so on the couch/guest room or in bed with your partner? 11) Do you want a relationship commitment event such as a ceremony, wedding, or domestic partnership? Explain. 12) If your partner said he wanted to commit to you, but couldn?t promise you ?forever,? would that affect your decision to commit to him? Read more